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3456 Evaline Street
Hamtramck, Mi 48212
USA

HATCH is a grassroots collective of artists from Hamtramck and the greater Detroit area. It exists to support, grow and promote local art and artists.

Blog

Depression Nap: Shaina Kasztelan and Heidi Barlow

Hatch Admin

Opening Reception Saturday, March 3, 6 PM - 10 PM
Artist Talk Saturday, March 17, 2pm
Gallery Hours Saturdays, noon-6pm, March 10 - 24
Hatch Art, 3456 Evaline St, Hamtramck, Michigan 48212

depressionnap.jpg
Is it still common for young girls to have diaries? Growing up in the 90’s/early 00’s scribbling down your hormone fueled rage was commonplace. Diaries were being marketed to us as this magical technology where you could whisper your secret password and only you could access it. You could decorate it with Lisa Frank stickers, hide it under your pillow, shut your bedroom door and spend hours anxiously over thinking whether “Brad” just likes you or LIKES likes you. You poured your heart and soul into this journal of angsty thoughts until your parents read it and sent you to therapy against your will. Privacy is one of the most important things to have ownership over as a young person growing up in a place where nothing you have is actually yours: you probably didn’t buy any of it yourself and it could definitely be taken away as punishment. You were sent to your room for behaving badly, but that wasn’t always a bad thing since it was one of the only places you could escape from the rest of the world to hide.
Your bedroom was a sanctuary picked out from a catalogue and personalized if you were lucky enough to have parents that approve of your style. If not you lived vicariously through friends and babysitters much cooler than you. There was the neighbor down the street with a collection of JNCO jeans gathering dust on his temperature controlled waterbed, the girl with a Prada backpack filled with every color of Hard Candy nail polish, “Little Miss Perfect” with the turquoise Macintosh desktop and the confidence to talk to strangers in chat rooms through AOL instant messenger over the dial-up connection. They were all so trendy and had the possessions to match. But not us. Our bedrooms had rules. Our parents made sure that they had order. They had wallpaper, figurines, nice furniture- a wooden desk we would inevitably stab and carve into out of anger instead of our skin so our boyfriends would stop asking us why we were wearing long sleeves in the summer. We turned our closets, the only space our parents didn’t touch, into small altars made up of our favorite objects and plastered the walls with pictures of clothes and boys we would never have. We’d gather junk that we stole from Walmart to be rebellious and religiously arrange it in an obsessive compulsive manner so that everything was aligned perfectly. In between the ugly clothes our mothers made us wear and our secret stash of Hot Topic fishnets we would hide makeup we barely knew how to use. We would get dressed up, listen to Linkin Park on our Walkman and take selfies at terrible angles to put on our Myspace page and copy/paste emo lyrics as the caption. We would read depressing poetry on Livejournal and we would ALWAYS delete our browser history.
You spend so much time in your bedroom isolated with your thoughts. It was an incubator which intensified the demons that carried on into your adult life. A space to accumulate a bunch of shit you don’t need but HAVE to have. To be cooler than the other girl. To feel better than the loser you know you are. To replace your sadness with stuff.